Here Comes Stinky (One Sixty-Two: Day 132)

Writer’s note: One Sixty-Two is a season-long series of blog posts connecting baseball’s major-league players to life’s universal themes. Just as there are 162 games in a season, so there will be 162 posts in this series. Let’s play some ball.

Day One Hundred Thirty-Two: Andrew McCutchen, Pittsburgh Pirates

We were riding south on Route 206 in Central Jersey, and we couldn’t help but notice the big green truck beside us. Together, we read the white sign painted on this bulky vehicle:

“Stinky’s Septic Tank Pumping,” it read. The slogan beneath the company name followed: “We Know We’re Not Politically Correct.”

My girls couldn’t get over the silliness of the name: a company calling itself Stinky. For two kids whose dad has given them more than enough potty humor in their lives, this was a gold mine for all the smelly jokes. And it wasn’t make-believe: When you call that phone number listed on the truck, someone at the other end is going to greet you with something like a “Good afternoon, this is Stinky’s; how may I help you?”

So as our giggly car passed the truck and headed on our way (past the Turntable Junction Shopping Complex, mind you – what’s with these names?), I thought a little bit about what it must feel like to work for Stinky. You learn to deal with the jokes, of course, but in the end people will provide you with business if you clean those septic tanks well. But what if you don’t work for Stinky’s, but instead you work for the more figurative “Stinky”? What if you’re a member of the Pittsburgh Pirates?

The 18 consecutive losing seasons in Pittsburgh have been well-documented, as they should be since they make up the longest such streak in the history of major North American pro team sports. But this year, even as the Pirates promise they are finished with trading away prospects whose free-agent years are looming, and even as their young players begin to blossom, the 2010 season is just not going well. Today, as the Pirates lost again, they fell to 44-89, a record that brings their winning percentage below 33 percent. In games away from home, the Bucs have only 14 wins on the year. There may be better days ahead, but they’re hard to see from here.

So how do you feel if you’re Andrew McCutchen, the second-year player who is widely regarded as the most talented player on the Pirates right now? This season, McCutchen has a .277 average to go with 12 home runs and 28 steals. He is a force at the plate, on the basepaths and in centerfield. This 23-year-old is the kind of player you can build a team around.

But as the Pirates keep losing, how does McCutchen foresee his future in the big leagues? Does he hope, deep down, that he eventually gets to follow all those ex-Pirates players who were traded out of Pittsburgh before they became too expensive? Or does McCutchen truly hope that he is the sign of a new era, when the Pirates spend more money on their roster, build smart from within and become a National League power once again?

When Roberto Clemente, Willie Stargell and Honus Wagner played for the Pittsburgh Pirates, the team was not called “Stinky” too often. For an entire generation, however, it has been nothing but. It’s time to clean the tank once and for all, because if the Pirates lose a guy like Andrew McCutchen, then fans may see no reason to talk about this team with a semblance of political correctness. “Stinky” might even be a compliment compared to what would come next.